i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize