honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
