She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
