i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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