You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
id be glad to
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
