Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize