I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
