Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He has the fingertips of a God
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