Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
