Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
