Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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