he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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