At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
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