We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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