You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
