Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
