Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize