I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
