and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize