I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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