it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
