i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
