The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
