I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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