So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
