so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
