I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
