New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
