you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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