dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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