We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
babies were throwing up all over the place
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
