I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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