question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
