I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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