have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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