Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
