Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize