i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
