I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
