I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
