I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
