so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
