Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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