we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
