as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
