I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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