SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Someone came in the potted fern
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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