watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
