When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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