Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
