I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I had to cum in my sink.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
