He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
