just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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