69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
