the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
