That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
