i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
