i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
