It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
