Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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