so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
