She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
