go do what you do best...puke behind churches
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
