I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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