the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize