Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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