If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
