New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
