This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
